Listen up!

Class is in session.

It was 1988. Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Back then, yours truly worked as a TV reporter for the local ABC affiliate -- well before slipping on the mask to write this weekly wonder.

Mrs. Professor was also in the picture, well before the 'lil professors came along. Mrs. Prof sort of tolerated wrestling, but wasn't in love with it. Could she resist going to the big WWF show at the Five Seasons Center downtown? Not a chance.

Randy "Macho Man" Savage was slated to be in the main event. I'd be a liar if I said I remembered who he faced. All I know is that Miss Elizabeth was at ringside as well.

We were sitting in the second tier, first row, and had a great view of the ring. Along for the ride: local TV cameraman/sports reporter Higgy, who had never been to a professional match.

To this day, Mrs. Professor -- and Higgy -- have never returned. And I completely understand why.

Superstars
Back in the late '80s, the World Wrestling Federation had a syndicated show named "WWF Superstars," airing on weekends in most markets. It was largely the show where Hulk Hogan ruled, as Vince McMahon solidified his empire after destroying the territories.

The taped material from those shows came from arena events from around the country. When I bought my ticket, I thought I'd get to see the regular house show card (matches that weren't televised), along with about an hour of taped TV matches. So I was figuring on a two-hour show. Wrong. It was a five-hour extravaganza.

While I should be celebrating getting some bang for my buck, this was something else. WWF that night taped three WEEKS worth of shows! That meant three-minute match after three-minute match after three-minute match.

Houston, We Have A Problem
One performer, a babyface by the name of Sam Houston, came out FOUR times! Do you know how hard it is to give a big round of applause for the same wrestler every half-hour? A wrestler who has absolutely no personality? I felt sorry for the guy. I also felt sorry for the people that I dragged to the arena.

Higgy, the sports guy, took it stride and didn't complain. It was either that or the beer. Mrs. Professor was a different story. She was whispering/yelling into my ear that she felt trapped in a suffocating room in Hades.

"Sam Houston," she roared, "I've never even heard of this guy! When is this going to be over?" She also repeatedly asked for cab fare to go home (I resisted), but that meant I had to buy her an ungodly amount of snacks. Sure, it eventually ended, but not before we were driven insane, forced to watch a gazillion TV jobber matches.

The End Is Near
In the main event, when Savage finally arrived for his time in the spotlight, Mrs. Professor was ecstatic. Not for the Macho Man and his Macho Madness, but she realized the end was near. Again, I can't remember who he beat. It's not important. All that matters is that I was allowed to go home.

On the way out, we actually saw Savage and Elizabeth walking through the hotel attached to the arena. We were shocked at how tanned, short and sweaty they were. A true fan probably would have asked for an autograph, but Mrs. had given me the look -- the look that it was time to get out -- and never return.

And that was that. Do you have an arena memory you'd like to share? I published a bunch a few months ago, and I'm getting ready to do it again in a few weeks. If you have a story, just drop me a line RIGHT HERE.

If you want to hear more wrestling stories right now, don't forget to download the Professor Wrestling podcast, "Old School, New School." This week, my co-hosts George Schire and Mike Lano zero in on JBL and Jeff Hardy as well as talk about their favorite cowboy grapplers. It's Episode 62 -- and it's RIGHT HERE.

That's it.

Class is dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )