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After Twins, Baby No. 3 On The Way

Surprises Don't Come When Expected

When I decided I wanted to have children, I assumed I'd get pregnant easily. My mom did, women around me did, so why not me?

The Fertile Myrtle label was not my fate. I spent two years of pain, frustration and sadness trying to get pregnant. Finally we were blessed with a twin pregnancy, which made me throw up daily and eventually landed me on bedrest for more than three months. It wasn't fun, but it was worth it.

I have two beautiful children who are happy, healthy and just fun to be around. My house is a mess, I never get enough sleep and some days I am overwhelmed, but I am always grateful they are in my life. They are my new true loves, and make me realize what all those parents were talking about when they said that kids changed their lives.

When I was pregnant with two, all I could think about was keeping them safe and hoping they could hold out for as many days as possible before entering the world. I never spent much time considering whether we would have more children, because I haven't had a free moment to think about much of anything.

My husband always wanted four; I always wanted three. But throw twins into the mix and the "ideal" family is thrown off a bit. There isn't a day that goes by that people on the street don't tell me, "One of each. Now you're done!" or, "I always wanted to have boy/girl twins so I could get it all over with at once."

Well, wait until those people see me in a few weeks. By then, my newly pregnant belly will be showing -- and of course glowing -- and I can only imagine the comments that will replace "You have your hands full." Perhaps now they will say, "You must be crazy."

That's right, my eggo is preggo, and I still don't believe it. After having to go through many medical hoops to get it done the first time, I assumed it just wasn't my fate to have a spontaneous pregnancy. Au natural was not in the cards, I thought, and yet it was the second time around.

My doctor warned me that it could happen naturally after fertility treatments. "It happens all the time. Don't be surprised," he said. I secretly hoped he would be right -- about a year from now.

But surprises don't come when we expect them. So here I am, pregnant with No. 3 and feeling overwhelmed at the prospect. How can I possibly handle three when two is already so much work? I'm just getting the hang of this -- carrying two upstairs for naptime, pushing my double stroller with a dog leash in each hand, navigating the swimming pool without breaking my back -- and here comes a new wrench in my smooth maneuvering.

How can I make it work? Will I have to wear the new baby while I push the others? I won't be able to go shopping, which is already a challenge. What babysitter is going to want to watch three, and how much will she charge? It's going to be even harder to get a night out with the girls, not to mention get back in shape yet again.

When I first learned about my expectant mom status, I was shocked. Jack was thrilled. Part of me still doesn't believe it, but I quickly realize it's true when I throw up or feel like I've been drugged with sleeping pills in the middle of the day.

I am still excited, but I feel so sick that it's hard to daydream about a new baby when I can barely stay awake and have two little ones to chase.

I worry about Bridget and Wyatt not getting to be babies for as long as they deserve. Will they miss out with a new sibling hogging my attention? Will I end up encouraging them to grow up faster?

There is so much to think about, so much to worry about: money, diapers, sleepless nights. A lot of people say they stress over whether they will have love to give a second or third child. I have plenty of love to give, and now two tiny hearts to share even more. On the practical side, we already have our sexy minivan, a third bedroom and plenty of toys to share.

So while the idea of a trio seems somehow devastating, I know that it will work out in the end. We have been through two at once, so how hard can one more be?

Laura Lewis Brown is the mother of infant twins. Her column appears every other Thursday.
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