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Are You Too Cool To Work Out?

Even Hipsters Need To Sweat

POSTED: Thursday, March 15, 2007

A recent magazine profile of hipsters in Minneapolis-St. Paul, the metropolitan area I call home, asked its participants if they exercised. The answer was a collective, resounding, "You've got to be kidding!"

Some went out of their way to bash the idea of sweating, walking in place or wearing sweatpants for no reason. Others expressed an emotion similar to admiration, but with a dash of apathy, a heavy sigh and the kind of look you give to the person who cashes his tax refund check in the middle of January or the friend who volunteers.
Exercise Myths | Exercise At Work | Health Journals
I know this look because I get it a lot. I don't give my time to others -- I work out. And if there's anything I learned as a braces-faced cross-country team member in high school, it's that running shoes just aren't hip.

Athletic Gear Not Hip

Think about it: Where else but in a running store can you see so many high-priced, purple athletic shoes to match your little nylon jacket with the drawstring hood? The bald man you see running past your house every day in a headband, mesh tank top and wispy satin shorts has to shop somewhere. Sure, you can work out in an ironic T-shirt, but if it's cotton, it's not gonna breathe, dude.

Exercise also loses cool points for its long-lived popularity. A lot of other people are doing it, and they've been doing it in mostly the same fashion -- save a Pilates class here and a stability ball there -- for decades. Nothing cool about that.

Another conflict of interest: Being a hipster typically requires a tremendous amount of effort on multitasking -- your art, your job, your looking like you couldn't care less. Perhaps right now you're saying to yourself, "I don't even have the time or energy to blog anymore. Why would I spend what low reserves I have doing something so uncomfortable and awful?"

Put down your knitting needles for a sec. I need you to believe me when I say that exercise is cool, and you should totally do it. I have at least five good reasons:

1. Your physique will improve -- whether you have a body image issue or not. Even if your vegan lifestyle has whittled you down to the size of a carrot, your body stands to gain tremendously from exercise. After a few months of light weightlifting, your arms will no longer be compared to Kermit the Frog's. I'm not suggesting you become so obsessed with your body that you start furiously clipping spot-toning exercises out of fitness magazines. What's the point of spending even 15 minutes on a killer backside when that body part is usually covered up with a lumpy, hip, vintage wool skirt? But even if you love your body the way it is, you'll be surprised at how much more love you have to give once you get to know your obliques.

2. You haven't made a new iPod playlist in hours. The last time you went for a run, the AA batteries in your yellow sport Walkman ran down and Bono's slurring slowed you to a crawl to the nearest Dairy Queen. MP3 players have eliminated the inconvenience of strapping a midsized appliance to one's back. And whether you use it as a distraction or an inspiration, music can make working out much more enjoyable and help you stick to a routine.

3. You can hold onto your vices -- for now. Adopting a workout plan doesn't have to mean turning into a teeth-baring health freak. If you like to drink and smoke, then drink, smoke and exercise. Trying to replace all of your habits with healthier ones rarely works when it's done all at once. But don't be surprised if you decide after a quick run that you'd rather give up the smokes than waste several minutes of your life devoted to coughing.

4. You'll be the life of the party. Whether you do it at the gym or the park, working out has rich potential for hilarious and disturbing stories. The overheard conversations, the people watching! You'll have no shortage of creepy instructor tales after a Saturday morning spin class. Maybe you can even name a martini after him.

5. This really is important. Exercise is not just an activity. It's a necessity. Moving around and getting your pulse up is part of being human. It's true that it takes time. It's not always fun, or even comfortable. But it often is fun, and it will help you feel good and live longer. And really, that is pretty cool.

So pull on your most threadbare concert T-shirt and get out there. Go for a run, pull your bike out of the garage or just go for a walk. You can do a podcast about how totally stupid and pointless it was when you're done. Other Links:

  • Gaining Weight? Maybe It's Just Water
  • Find A Virtual Personal Trainer
  • Low-Cost Exercise
  • Secrets Of The Weight-Loss Industry
  • Find The Perfect Gym
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