MIAMI -- Every year on Nov. 3, Deborah Smith throws a birthday party for her son.
"This is a celebration of his life -- the day he came into the world," Smith told Local 10's Jonathan Vigliotti.
Under a clear sky, in the shade of palm trees on Tuesday, Smith held a modest celebration.
"Come get some cake and sing happy birthday," she called to passersby.
Some people greeted her with smiles, others with looks of disbelief. Most people aren't used to seeing birthday parties at Dade Memorial Cemetery in Miami.
Five years ago, Smith's son, Antwoine, a U.S. Marine, was killed in Iraq. Smith said she felt closest to her son at the cemetery. On Tuesday, he would have turned 27.
"Come get some cake. I have juice too. Would you like some juice?" she asked an elderly man as he made his way to a nearby headstone.
Smith served up cake and told her son's story to anyone who would listen. Photos of Antoine, along with his combat boots, were propped up against his headstone.
"He was shot right in the head," Smith said, describing her son's injuries to an unknown visitor. "He was on a mission and the enemy shot him and threw grenades at him. At least he went without pain."
Antwoine Smith was killed on Nov. 15, 2004. His mother has served cake at his grave every year since.
"I was a couple of days late a few years ago, but today I'm on time," she said.
Smith said she realizes it all seems a bit morbid. But she said keeping the graveside tradition helps her to cope.
"I'm sure without a doubt he's going 'Mom, what are you doing?,'" Smith said. "But I think about him all the time. I struggle to move on," she said.
After her son was killed, Smith joined American Gold Star Mothers, a non-profit organization for grieving war families. She is now the vice-president of the organization's Florida chapter. Thousands of families across the country come together through Gold Star to share their stories during organized meetings.
"People tell us to move on and get over it. We have to do life differently to help find closure. People who have lost their loved ones in war go through a different set of emotions," she said.
Smith's pursuit of closure is a reminder that freedom comes at a price. And while hers is not your average celebration, she said it's a way to honor her son and slowly say goodbye.
For more information on American Gold Star Mothers visit:
www.goldstarmoms.com.
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